Albeit it's gonna have to a fluffy subject this week, I'm not going to be going into the ins and outs of anything as a result of cheap Cava leaving me blind and an over dose of mince pies has chubbed out my fingers so that they're too fat to type, so short and sweet and simple is the style this week.
Now as anyone who knows me in person will know I enjoy a good sweatshirt. They are my staple hangover outfit. I can slip into a huge hideously ridiculous jumper and rock it with a bun on my head and just look shabby chic. And seeing as a great deal of the festive period is spent in a whirl wind of hangover (especially for those of you who cant afford Lanson and spend your evenings crying over the holiday whilst cracking out your collection of 6 year old raffle winning Chardonnay, and boohooing about your pathetic 2011), I thought what better way to celebrate Christmas fashion nerd style than with a festive count down (channel 4 styley) of Christmas sweaters.
1. The one you could actually wear
Don't get me wrong, I completely am in love with Christmas jumpers and have been wearing them long before they were anywhere near trendy, but I understand the slight social faux pas that is attached with running around in the real world with a jumper bright enough to blind a small mammal. However this particular one seems to make me want to sit in my room and cry my eyes out a little bit because I want it SO much. Unfortunately so does the rest of the nation as Jack Wills are completely sold out. Sorry to burst that bubble and waste precious blog time.
2. The one to keep muggers at bay
Here's one that would make your mum happy. You could stumble home blind drunk waving £50 notes through the streets of Manchester's Mersey side in the pitch black and no one would touch you. This gorgeous piece of wool finery lights up and flashes acting as a festive flair to keep anyone from coming within a mile of you. And the best part? Its only (tone of sarcasm here) £42.99 from cheesychristmasjumpers.com! Hurry, I hear Anna Wintour is hoping to snap up the whole collection.
3. The one for the shy jumper connoisseur.
If you aren't accustom to wearing mad clothing quite as much as perhaps, Noel Fielding and you feel a little like a crimbo cardigan virgin but feel that you should still be a part of the festivities then have no fear! This darling little jumper is very pretty but play it safe enough so as not to offend anyone. £26 pop-boutique.com
4. One for conversation starters
So are you one of those popular people who go to endless Christmas parties? Do you find yourself struggling to start conversations? Or maybe you just feel like your political views just aren't being voiced? Well look no further than this Barack Obama festive number. Guaranteed to turn heads! $49.99 myuglychristmassweater.com (clue is in the name.)
6. The one for the mistletoe
So maybe unlike me you are not actually planning on stuffing your face with crunchie bars (currently doing this) over Christmas then rolling rather than walking back to university. Maybe you actually plan on getting some kind of action this winter? If so good luck to ya and this is the jumper for you. Imagine how cute, he'll (or she'll, PC) think 'hey she's quirky and fun with that Christmas jumper plus she looks cute and I can actually see her waist, unlike that girl in the Obama sweater! I think I'll give her a kiss.' (If you actually find a human that says this exact sentence avoid them at all costs.) Put a pair of furry ear muffs with this bad boy and you're all set. £30 topshop.com
7.The one that is imaginary but would keep you warm
So here is another sweater from that bitch over at sexy-sweaters, who designs all of these beautiful sweat shirts but doesn't actually produce them. But this would be ideal, Christmassy but not too Christmassy, would be really warm and do its job properly as a sweater, plus is pretty. I'm actually going to ban myself from going on her blog cause I get sad every time I can't purchase a sweater with Ariel's face on. sexy-sweaters.com
So yeah, I'd say that's enough Christmas jumpers to keep you going for a good few days. I realise that I am being terribly sexist in most of my offerings and would like to point out that most of these websites provide male alternatives to the jumpers pictured. Right, now that my home work is finished I'm off to watch the made in Chelsea Christmas spesh! Thuper duper excited! More excited than my own Christmas!
And so to end, Merry Crimbo from me and the gang
(next weeks blog is about new years resolutions, maybe mine should be to get a life.)
Truly fantastic. Well done!
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