Mad Hatters

It had to be done, fashion nerd’s Royal Wedding blog is here.

However rather than homing in on the obvious, Kate’s dress (which I have to say as beautiful, dainty and glorious as it was I would never have guessed it to be a McQueen?! Didn’t quite have that cutting edge chaos you expect from a McQueen piece); I have decided to take a look at the slightly ostentatious head wear that flooded Westminster abbey.

What is it about the upper class Jack Willsey type and a special occasion? It’s like questionable straw head wear just gravitates towards them!  But with a vast amount of the congregation looking as though  a recently deceased seagull has landed on their head, how do you do a hat? You won’t often find them looking through Vogue, so with no stylists advice it’s no wonder people get it so wrong when it comes to being thrown to the lions, sorry, milliners. (This is exactly why I turned down my invitation.)

So what makes a successful hat? Well the problems with the hats at the wedding were they were either too  nampy pampy, what-your-gran-would-wear boring or hideously, gag-make-you-throw-up over the top. Need I mention Princess Beatrice who’s picture frame perched precariously on her head seemed to be missing a picture (for first female in line to the thrown she’s hardly fashion royalty.)  or Princess Eugenie who’s hat remarkably resembled the back end of a peacock.

(The ugly sisters, Beatrice in Valentino and Philip Treacy, Eugenie in Vivienne Westwood.)

So who managed to solve the impossible and successfully wear a hat? And how, oh how did they do it???!!!!

Although I have a huge dislike for Mr. Clegg after bailing out on cutting tuition fees his wife did a good job, her hat reflected her Latino style without being too OTT and provided a modern take on the not so modern fascinator. 

(Miriam Gonzalez Duantez in Philip Treacy)

I also Thought Kate Middleton's mother, Carole, pulled off the mother of the bride look without looking too mumsey. Her hat was structured and gave a little lift off her head so that she wasn't totally swamped by it and we could actually see her face when she cried tears of joy.

(Carole in Jane Corbett hat.)

For the younger generation, Lady Kitty Spencer did the job. Her hat toned in well with her dress and because she is young it didn't seem too eccentric but also it was sophisticated enough for such an occasion.

(Kitty in Victoria Beckham dress.)

I know it was a cliche (I understand an accent is required above the 'e' but I can't work my keyboard) but I adored old Queenies outfit. Cute as a button in Easter colours and a glorious pork pie-Esq hat! Brilliant! She's not trying to fool anyone in a very traditional Lizzie outfit.

(aaah what a grand old lady you are. I also love the look of forced smiles that Queenie and Carole are giving Camilla!)

So the trick is, it appears, stick to something that reflects your age not too young or too old. If you think it's a bit 'out there' it probably is. This blog is probably useless anyway, when are us commoners ever going to go a royal wedding? Sigh.

Well to end on a cheery note, desperately trawling the Internet for photos I found some crackers of Princess Beatrice, so here is her hat wall of shame....