(This is what my life, the daughter of the owner of an ice cream parlour, is like, but with a little less tash)
Once upon a time I wrote a blog about not caring, Laundry Day Living- give it a whirl, and I was talking about what a busy little bumble bee I was being and how sometimes I take on too much and need to slow myself down. Well if you were a big fan of that particular post you might not want to bother with this one because this week I will be talking about how I need to speed myself up.
I, my friend, am in a slump. Those of you who know me, understand that I like to keep myself busy. If you have ever looked through my filofax (yup sad enough to have owned one from the age of 16) you will see weeks of filled appointments, tasks that I've set myself, deadlines that I need to meet. Well that filofax has been looking awful lonely recently. I started my summer so well, complaining about having nothing to do so therefore volunteering myself to every news publication I could and doing a whole 6 hours of solid exercise a week, I was just about ready to take down Mike Tyson. But now my filofax is slumping and my lightening legs are looking pretty slumpy too.
(I hate Cassey Ho, I was doing her exercises and was never smiling like that, she must be on crack, at least)
I realised I was in a slump (can I just take a moment to assure readers that I am in a slump, not a flump which is a British marshmallow piece of confectionery, as I understand that this would have been confusing) when I actually cried, CRIED, real tears when I couldn't find my make up wipes. I was practically hysterical when I later couldn't find my pyjama top either and as I lay topless under my summer duvet sobbing I realised I honestly needed to sort my life out if it has become that uneventful that not having matching pyjamas is enough to set me off. Those of you who know me will know that this completely out of the ordinary because A.) I am so emotionally unavailable that I was once called 'inhuman' for not producing a tear at My Sister's Keeper (please don't judge me) and B.) all of my pyjamas look like they were picked out by Carol Thatcher.
(I wish I was looking a patch as attractive as this in my nightwear, though preferably not reading 'House and Gardens')
I am sure each and everyone of you has been in my position. That position being where you adopt an 'f**k it' attitude. This can be caused by many things, and can also cause many consequences. Whether you are in a quandary about which London post code you should live in for your September internship, or perhaps you've watched a sad film (Magic Mike to be precise) or you've just been on that bread free diet for far too long eventually somethings gotta give and you say 'f**k it.' Before you know it you've gone into your overdraft buying yourself solo Cactus Jacks shots and playing a chicken nugget eating competition with yourself. Sad times. It was this attitude that had landed me with such non events in my life that I cried at the loss of Boots own make up wipes.
My point is, once you've slipped and you've tasted that sweet taste of freedom (wheat in my case) it's very hard to shake off. I mean there's not a lot of point hitting the air stepper at the gym if you're only planning on going home and secretly stuffing your face with your sisters Haribo 'fruity frogs', low point. And no matter how many times I tell myself that tomorrow I will eat only what a rabbit would I still wind up munching on a piece of chocolate cake for breakfast. So what is the solution how do you get your will power back, stop loafing around and start acting like a real human being and not Homer Simpson? Cause at the moment the thought of typing up essays for free (ie like this, for no one but yourself to read) and eating food that comes off trees sounds awfully unappealing when I know what I'm missing, ie lying on the beach feeding off fried cheese.
The short answer is you just have to do it. Have one productive day and the rest will follow. You have to give yourself a scare, stop leaving everything cause inevitably it will get bigger and more and more difficult to deal with, my filofax is getting fuller as is my stomach. As Nike would say, 'Just Do It' (please don't copyright slap me.) I often find clothes shopping slams me back to reality. If I naively take a certain size (please, I'm a lady) into the changing rooms and find out I need the next size up, it's like being faced by Gok Wan but not, because he's not there to give you a hug or a makeover.
(Compulsory Made in Chelsea reference)
Other things you could do to re motivate yourself is buy yourself some stuff to be motivational about. Like say you wanna get loads of work done, buy yourself some shit fancy filofax and pens and pencils (I am currently looking at a lovely mulberry filofax on ebay.) You wanna lose a stone? Buy yourself some dumbbells. You will, if you're a poor student like me, use these items because it will be a total waste of money otherwise and let's face it putting stuff on ebay just to have people dispute you the whole time is no fun. However if you are rich and have this money to throw away then I can't help you.
Above all put pen to paper. Writing things down always, ALWAYS, makes things seem more achievable. My very favourite artist, Rob Ryan, once very wisely said; 'Why does putting things down on paper somehow make things seem more manageable? Is it because it is a constructive act when inside you feel destroyed?' Well OK, I don't feel 'destroyed' but he was bound to exaggerate, he's an artist, but he is also a grown up and successful which must make him right. So get your parker pens at the ready!
(Well there you are then)
I think the main thing is to have a starting point, something to kick you into first gear. Mine was this blog. Martha Thursday is always about being late and making excuses, and putting things off and yet here I am on a Thursday writing a blog. A good place to start? I think so. I am almost tempted to rename myself Martha Friday so that I can claim that I am, in fact, early. An even better place to start.
Oh filofax, how I've missed you.
Though I might add that I decided that doing this blog would be my starting point for re motivating myself on Sunday, so I've already procrastinated for four days. Oh well the sun doesn't shine every day! God only help me when the Olympics start...
Speaking of which Olympic theme post next week kids.
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