Doing it doggy style

So you know when you just have one of those days. Today is one of those days. It started off OK, I had an apricot brioche for breakfast and who's not happy when they've got a french patisserie item in their mouth? But then my bus was an hour late, my sneezing ratio has hit a high, what with me carrying around a loo roll in my bag. And then to top it all off I just found a comment from one of my older blog posts by some nasty little minx called (better not give her a name mention in case she's the editor of Vogue or something) basically telling me that I'm not 'all that' and I don't have a clue what I was talking about and couldn't possibly consider myself a 'serious professional fashion blogger.'


I felt like I'd had a dressing down. I felt like what Andy must have felt like when Miranda Priestly let rip in The Devil Wears Prada or how Carrie must have felt when she got a bad review in the New Yorker in Sex and the City 2. But my bad review was from a nobody which makes it even worse.


And so it is times like this that we should look at the canines of this world for inspiration. I'm pretty sure that if I told my idiot terrier that I didn't think his tail wagging skills were up to much he would only waggle that little thing more. So I am going to take a leaf outta that book and write a stonking blog about how to achieve a great looking pooch.


It may seem like I'm going slightly off on a tangent here but let me explain. I am trying to get around all my requests for blog posts and one was dog fashion. Also we have just been talking about dogs. Also I am trying to write more about fashion again but keep it fun and what better way to do so. And finally dogs are the very best way of cheering yourself up as my hungover friend taught me on valentines day when she said 'Google image some Valentines puppies and show them to me, that will make me feel better!'

(see can't you feel your troubles melting away?)

And so here is the ultimate guide to doggy (not dodgy) fashion.


1. Minimalism.
For those dogs who don't have time in the morning for loads of pampering, perhaps you're a working dog and a tutu would get in the way of all that drug searching or sheep herding you've got to do but you're still feeling like you want to make the most of your fur? Go for the obviously utilitarian fashion essential of the collar but mix it up by perhaps expressing yourself with a few flowers or a neckerchief. You'll have them bitches howling.

(Try a crochet collar for a homely look)

(or if village people is more your style?)

2. When fur isn't enough.
There's no shame in it, we've all done it. Gone out truly believing that our dalmatian spots alone will be enough to keep us dogs warm, only to come home with our tails in between our legs because, lets face it we ain't no Husky. A doggy jumper is the perfect half way point between being totally cosy and too cute for words (or should that be barks?)

(Oh my gosh, need I say anything? Who needs a man with one of these in your life?)

3.Haute Pooch-ure (meant to sound like couture not sure if it works)
Sometimes you're not just any dog. You're not some RSPCA pooch they found tied to a park gate and thought was a cat because you're such a mongrel they can't tell, you are the real deal. Like a Maltese or a Bichon Frise. You're like Kayne of the dog world and you wanna show them bitches that you are a pure breed with some dollar. Try Harrods for some truly extravagant pup styling. Its just a shame you cant do the 'vogue' dance move otherwise you'd be all set for cat or should I say dogwalk!

(Boston Terrier wears Juicy Couture)

(Pug wears Mulberry)

4. Indie
You're a pup with an alternative vibe. You tend to stray off the parks path and like the alternative scene such as behind the dust bin truck or even, if you're daring. venture down the odd badger hole to hang out with those of entirely different breed. You're individuality shouldn't end where your fur stops growing. Your owner might have something called featherlocks, well now you can beat them to the punch with your very own puppylocks, just make sure you listen out for cat bells, a scratched ear where a cat has swung for your feathery fancies doesn't live up to your cool vibe.

5. Dress up
We've all heard of party animals well what about party pets? Puppies enjoy a bit of Snoop Dog (or maybe its snoopy dog) as much as the rest of us and so what to wear to a themed bash? No one wants to look like a dogs dinner! Well the rule is the more ridiculous the better. As a dog you have the advantage of 4 legs meaning you make wonderful cars, dinosaurs or food items! 

(Look out here comes the spider-dog!)

(Great for all those Halloween doos dogs get invited to...)

(a-ma-zing, if you have the patience to place burger king crowns on ya mutt)

(idog)

(of course the alternative would to be to shave your poodle into a camel, he doesn't look all that happy though?)

(and if you have a particular specialist interest, dogs are catered for in that department, may the force be with you)

I am literally embarrassed by the state of that blog, it really has gone to the dogs. Maybe that nasty commenter was right. I guess I'm not a serious blogger and I know for sure I am definitely not a professional because no one is paying me. What I know is that looking at a whippet dressed as a Star Wars AT-AT has made me feel a whole lot better. 

Next week will be fashion hangovers, so you best you hope you haven't worn anything to be ashamed of! See you next Thursday for some more ridiculous amateur fun!

This blog is dedicated to the three legged dogs of the world- keep on hopping Pippin.