Funny girls

For all of the funny girls.


So, once again my blog is late (they should call me Martha ....day.) Apologies, I spent the most part of my week trying to be topical, racking my brains trying to somehow relate my blog back to the riots but I just didn't think that writing about the best balaclava or who's k-swiss I preferred was really very fashion nerd.


Recently I have found myself a little lacking in self confidence, (people who know me will know this is not really one of my usual traits.) Over the summer I have been to stay with a few uni friends and been out on the town, on the 'razz' if you will, and have begun to notice a rather repetitive system. To begin with all, ALL, of the boys will surround my friends and once they have found out they are unavailable they will turn to me, charming. You see I have this habit of tending to make friends with really stunning girls, I think perhaps I need to hang around outside the Jeremy Kyle set and then maybe I could look slightly more stunning.


In a sober situation I'm fine, on a roll! I can charm everyone with my jokes (I don't like to blow my own trumpet but when it comes to funny I like to think I'm a bit of alright, correct me if I'm wrong.) But when your out and talking isn't really an option because Calvin Harris is insisting on having his say on the dance floor, a personality is neither here nor there, my comedy routine is at a complete waste in oceana. You have to wear your personality on your face and body, in other words be fit. But what happens when you're the funny one? Velma always solved the mysteries but Daphne always got Fred and Velma was always having to traipse round by herself not even allowed to tag along with Shaggy and Scooby. And as Chandler always said no-one really wants to be the funny one.

(Chandler, me and you are on the same page mate)

Now don't get me wrong I know I'm not hideous, I would class myself as perfectly decent looking (its very hard to not sound like I'm putting myself down or being completely arrogant in this blog), but I just don't consider myself 'fit'. I'm the kind of girl guys like once they get to know me and then even then chances are its more in a sisterly way or a back up (the amount of guys I've promised to marry if we're still both alone by 40!) So this summer when I found myself looking to change my body image, all of the end results that I pictured were the classical 'fitness' that men tend to scurry after.


So what is fit? What are the rules? How do you become one of these girls? Here is my comprehensive list on what is required to become fit on a night out....


1. The body-con skirt/dress.
If you're fit you're wearing this, wearing this means you're fit. No self respecting girl would be wearing this unless they had the body to pull it off, or so this is what we lead men to believe so that it is so drummed into their heads that eventually you don't actually need the body, the dress indicates you already have it.


2. Camouflage
Make up, as discussed in my previous entry make up is the master of disguise. It enhances any fitness you already have and covers up any imperfections.


3. The Pose
Posing for the camera is not one of my strong points, I often deliberately make a stupid face so that if the photo turns out really awful at least I have an excuse. But to be considered 'fit' you need that photo. You know the one I mean, ladies's profile pictures with one knee bent, hands on hips, head tilted to one side. It is this sort of photo that will encourage lots of adds from bizarre pigeon fancying polish people on facebook.

(The boys just love the Mila.)

4. Dancing
Now the mistake I always make when I'm out is actually trying to dance, this can go very wrong, if you can actually dance then by all means dance away. However if you're like me and sign out the lyrics to the song then don't bother. It seems that a non-offensive sway and wiggling your bum should do the trick.


5. Hair
Men, on the whole, can't deal with crazy hair, they can't even get to grips with my full fringe! Miley Cyrus hair seems to be a favourite (and to be honest who wouldn't want her hair!)

(She obvs read my blog, she's even got the body con dress!)

6. Drink
With the right amount of Blackthorn in them any one can appear fit


Now I am by no means suggesting or encouraging that this is what is necessary for us ladies to do, it just seems to be the way to guarantee yourself male attraction, which is sad really. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in the long run being the funny one tends to pay off, lets face it the body con dress isn't really marriage material and I'm pretty sure Velma played for the other team anyway.

Make 'em laugh