I have to first apologise for my lateness with this blog, I have been lounging around on the beaches of the Algarve neglecting fashion nerd. But this is exactly what inspired my beauty based blog. What is it about being on holiday that always brings out my beauty side? I'm never usually too bothered about it, as my long suffering house mate is well aware as I usually get her to make me up, I'm fashion nerd not cosmetics geek!
Well when I'm stuck on the beach with my ever irritating relatives I find myself delving into the dephs of ELLE and VOGUE that I never usually read, you know the back bit where they encourage you to buy extortionate cosmetics. However in my desperation to find some entertainment I found myself fixated. I was always aware that make up could transform a look but I was not aware to such an extent or how fashion forward it can be.
Holidays also bring around the need for new cosmetics. Firstly everything you already own needs to be down sized to Sylvanian Families proportions, which calls for a trip to Superdrug, those miniatures are so cute! Everything needs to have some kind of waterproof or SPF property, you don't want to look like the only ding bat on the beach actually wearing sun cream on ya face! Then tan becomes a bit of an issshhh, you can't go off on holiday bragging about how dark you're gonna be then come back like Casper the friendly ghost so fake tan comes into play.... Though my tan's real, I can show you the bikini lines, promise!
(me after a few hours sunbathing, should have removed the sunglasses though..)
I always think that no holiday can go completed without Duty Free. Aaaaah duty free, your shiny counters and low prices allure me into buying so many items I do not need. This time I came back with Clinique lipstick in a candy floss pink all ready for puckering and some Lancome mascara. The mascara bought on a flashback to when my mum's friend from Windsor was helping me do my make up like Kelly Osbourne for a celeb look-a-like party I was attending (how deeply unflattering, this was 6 years ago and Kell was not in her heyday.) Anyway she said, with a london twang, "ALWAYYYS use Lannnncommmme mascara." So I do (when I have the funds.)
(I never usually take make up tips from a rabbit, but this one does wear Chanel. See! Who says animal testing doesn't have it's benefits? Just don't tell the RSPCA.)
With all this in mind, and on our faces, it's a wonder anyone can recognise us! You've watched those make over shows, you've seen what Trinny, Suzannah and Gok have done to these quite frankly hideous women, they look beautiful! This reminded me of something that one of my guy friends said to me a few months back;
"You know it's so unfair on us boys, you girls are tricksters thats what you are, you can dye your hair and wear push up bras and cake your face in makeup until you look stunning! And then when it comes down to it all and all your disguises are off you could be rough and it's really disapointing! I think us guys should have our scores bumped up, like if they were a 5/10 you'd bump it up to a 7/10 because we can't really do anything to improve ourselves!"
He's got a point, we have got it lucky, if you're an ugly guy then your ugly, we don't have to be born with it we've got Maybelline. I think when Paloma sang, "Do you want the truth or something beautiful?", I'm pretty sure that she was not in fact talking about her elledged romance but rather asking her boyf whether he wants to see her all bare faced after using a Simple cleansing wipe or whether you want to see her all dolled up in her finest Maybelline New York?
"I think old people should just be old and go away"
Go on then... Bugger off
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