Things I hate about blogging

To start off, you can probably expect very little fashion in this post, furthermore it will most likely be a rant on, blogging, bloggers and the whole blogosphere. This has been spurred on by having to write two entire essays focusing on the subject of blogging that has rather taken over my life (as you can probably tell by my casual use of the word furthermore). In this judgement (haha essay joke) let us proceed.

So I started blogging about 3 years ago now, partly because I wanted to get into London College of Fashion, partly because I was hoping that I might actually get discovered and be cool enough for people to want to have awkward pictures with me on nights out. Neither of which have happened (I like to think there's still time for my fans to find me) so if you are thinking of starting a blog I'm not a great advert.

I've plodded along mainly because people get angry if I don't, I occasionally make myself laugh when writing posts and I just feel like Carrie Bradshaw whenever I get complements on it.

(We even have the same laptop, I got mine on ebay so could possibly be the same one?)

Anyway away we go...

1. Timekeeping
Naming myself Martha Thursday was the biggest mistake of my life. Never EVER name yourself after the day you are meant to post. Completely moronic, setting myself up to fail. Every time Thursday comes rolling round and I can't come up with something amusing I feel like I've failed life. Especially as my (joke steeling) blogger friend is so efficient! Before you know it people are calling you Martha Monday because you post so irregularly (which is annoyingly more catchy).

(I know right?)

2. Competitive nature
So I went to fashion week, as we all know because I won't shut up about it (you just wait its happening all over again next month). I met a lotta bloggers. Everyone always asks how many followers you have, the people I was associating with had like 300-400. 'How many do you have Martha?' '11' awkward. Made more awkward when you are asked to move out of a picture so they can take one of the blogger they actually recognise. Though my more popular blogger friend Oshley put a link on his blog to mine so do look at his too (click on his name I'm all technical like that).

3. The lookey-downey pose
Those of you who are blog connoisseurs will be familiar with this pose. One hand in hair, look down, and smile. I hate it. It is meant to look natural but when in life does one ever do that pose? what is it? 'A bird shat in my hair and I'm happy about it?' But all bloggers do it, unfortunately no one told me this rule so I tend to just go in, full beam, big grin.

(It's just friggin' criminal. I feel awkward on your behalf)

4. Self-indulgence
This is the one aspect of blogging that makes me cringe. Right now I am sat at my computer typing out this nonsense that really has no importance in the world, coming up with jokes that I assume are gonna make you laugh. Basically I think I'm really clever and funny enough to have a blog. You don't care.

5. One man band
Blogging is hard work. There's this myth that somehow it opperates as a hobby. Nah-ahh. Being entertaining is exhausting enough as it is without then having to write it all up with good spelling and grammar which admittedly is one of my short comings. It's like meeting your (non-existant) boyfriends parents, providing small talk and then writing a review on how it all went. I'd give anything to have a little intern banging out half decent blogs on my behalf, who cares if they're not any good at least I'm not writing them.

(I feel like this is the intern for me)

6. Readership
Sometimes I feel pretty hopeless. I look at my blog statistics and it tells me that precisely 8 people read my last post. In brackets it aught to say 'all of whom were either you or your mother'. Sometimes I get a few more than that, only to discover that my reader is someone from Botswana on Google images. I feel a little as though my talent is wasted.

7. Tavi Gevinson
To top it off the Queen of blogs Miss Gevinson. This isn't a personal issue or anything Tavi, before you take offence. It's just the fact that she struck so bloody lucky. Right now there are about 6000 other bloggers who do what she does much much better (including myself blates). And yet somehow she has just been handed blogger of the century award on a plate. I like to think I could write her under the table. (i.e. I'm green with envy as are the words I'm writing).

(Oh! Tavi! Mind moving your 16-year-old hiney over and making room for the rest of us?)

It's times like this, when I've written a post about what I hate about the fashion industry and another about what I hate about blogging, that I start to doubt that I'm in the right line of work. But it's when my asos order is the most exciting part of my week that I realise I am.

Happy exam period and just have a lovely day

Also I wrote this post yesterday but have delayed putting it up due to all of the above reasons. Let's just call me Martha Friday and be done with it.