A weighty issue

About a month ago I had to face my worst of fears (not talking about my visit to monkey world though that was equally terrifying!) I had to face the scales. Stepping onto to the scales is never fun but least of all when you have just returned home from uni having knowingly abused your body with Sainsbury’s basic vodka, Sainsbury’s basic onion rings (clearly need to avoid Sainsbury’s) as well as countless hangover cures that usually involve breaded items and cheese...

Anyways as expected I have somewhat ballooned since coming back from uni, and it seems that the dreaded diet is on the cards. I missed the boat at New Year and summers always such a fun time to diet don’t you agree? What with all the ice creams and BBQ’s on offer, blegh disgusting and so easy to avoid... It also requires me to crash diet slightly so that I can look slightly less Fern Britton and slightly more Fern Cotton in a bikini.

People are continuously asking me what my goal weight is, and to be honest I don’t know! My goal is to look somewhat more like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, how much does she weigh? This got me to thinking what is the ideal weight? Is there some sort of common ground we should all be aiming for? And even if I did, by some mad miracle end up with Miss Whiteley’s weight I wouldn’t have her face or boobs. So when it comes to dieting are we just kidding ourselves?

(my goal weight... literally fat chance)

I was enjoying my favourite past time of watching Jezza K (as you can tell I have an extremely active lifestyle and it’s a total mystery why I’ve put on so much weight.) Anyway an advert came on for slimming world or weight watchers or something like that, and these women came on holding giant effigies of their former, over weight selves and then strut down some random runway parading their new thinner selves. These women make me sick, I’m sorry Karen from Essex but you did not lose 8 stone in 4 months you must have some kind of eating disorder or a brilliant surgeon or something? Sometimes I’m convinced that they’re not the same person.

Its times like this I would reach for some sort of comfort food but oh do I prefer the taste of marmite rice cakes, all the fun of eating a pillow without the feathers. So....(crunch crunch crunch)....(swallow) is there any occasion when putting on weight is a benefit? Now I’m not stating the obvious that of some anorexic teen suddenly gains 3 stone and looks normal again, no I’m asking whether there has ever been an occasion when an average weighing person has gained weight and looked better for it?

(Dawn French revealing her weight loss earlier this year, though I reckon she looked better before, her face looks very saggy and wrinkled!)

A friend recently began weight watchers. She has never had any need to lose any weight before and in my opinion doesnt need to lose any now. My mum even remarked how beautiful she was looking and I think the word ‘womanly’ was used. So what’s the matter with us girls? Why do we have this constant need to maintain our weight? Guys actually aim to put on weight to improve how they look and we spend our whole lives ordering Caesar salads so that we don’t put on a few pounds? If we knew how many calories were in drink we would probably steer clear of that too and then no one would have any fun!

As it is after this rant I’m still going to, as I do with many of my blogs, stick to my original idea and stick to my diet, but I have put on more than a few pounds, also you know it must be bad when your own mum tells you you need to diet. Besides it gives me more excuses to visit yo sushi though I do need to bear in mind that just because it’s frozen yogurt rather than ice cream does not mean you can eat the whole tub...

To end the blog to all of you suffering from the diet blues here are some actually yummy things you can still eat!

-Ben and Jerry's

OK so not the full on ice cream but certainly the frozen yogurt! You can't tell its not the real thing and it's seriously low in fat! They come in Phish Food, Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Cherry Garcia, strawberry cheesecake and half baked so look out for them next time your crying over the ice cream counter at the vue!

-Sushi

You don't want to miss on meals out? not a problem, sushi is one of those super foods and so long as you don't order anything fried you'll be just peachy.

-Marks and Sparks

If your going to be watching your weight for a while there's no better place than M&S. Their fuller for longer range is actually really yummy and does what it says on the tin.

-Recipease

Get creative, my favourite stop snacking, sugar craving diet snack is banana and peanut butter and that was formed in a moment of desperation when only sugar would do. Slice up banana and spread with peanut butter little bites of heaven!


-Trust the experts
Sometimes the only option is the diet option. When it comes to weight watchers foods some are better than others, my favourite things are the caramel wafers (at just one point each!) and the carrot cake (get the round ones not the bars, the icing is very yummy.) Want chocolate? Try Slimfast's chocolate caramel treat, their perfectly respectable take on a mars bar.