Before circa the year 9 period of my life the length of skirts never seemed to be an issue. There wasn't the same sexual politics there are now, and most pre-teens have absolutely no style or sophistication and are practically androgynous.
But I remember a specific stage in my life when 'below-the-knee' was no longer socially acceptable. You were a 'prune', 'frumpy' and 'fridgid' if you wore anything that didn't skim your bum. I spent so many of my later years in high school constantly on the look out for one particularly prune-like member of staff who seemed hell-bent on catching me with my trousers down and, so to say, my skirt 'up.'
After somehow avoiding permanent expulsion (lets just say I wasn't particularly good at keeping an eye out for Mrs. Prune), and keeping my 'cool' in tact with my thigh skimming skirts and perfectly polished legs, I hit a new social faux-pas with the skirt length. A situation that caused me to ask myself 'am I a slut?!'
This all came about on a recent trip to my best friends flat. She opened the door and the male half of her flat were all stood in the kitchen doorway looking very sheepish, she turned around and said;
"no not today."
Bewildered I asked what
"They wanted to see if you were wearing a short skirt again today. They enjoy it when you do."
What? Had I some how fallen out of the short skirt loop? I thought my skirt length was perfectly adequate and almost modest in comparison to some I'd seen. In need of some reassurance I asked my flat. I did not get the ideal response by any stretch of the imagination.
Response 1 from candidate number 1- male flat mate-
"Jesus, yeah you really do wear such short skirts all the time!"
Response 2 from candidate number 2- older male flat mate-
"Yeah marf I hate to say it because you're like my sister but you do wear some stupidly short skirts"
Response 3 from candidate number 3- Female flat mate's best friend (at this point I was clutching at straws)-
"Well I have seen your bum at least 4-5 times today."
Oh. Ok. when did this happen? I'm pretty sure when I last checked that most males appreciated a short skirt? Maybe I'm not young enough or slutty enough to pull it off, but being 19 you would think I am? (young enough not slutty.) I don't wear short skirts for male attention, in fact I find it incredibly hard not to wear a short skirt because I'm so tall!
But when I do try and find an antidote to this skirt curse it just ain't happening, when I wore my maxi dress I got a similarly confused reaction from candidate number 1 who hilariously pointed out:
"you look like mother Mary."
(not quite the look I was going for)
However I did receive a positive reaction from candidate 3 and best friend who are both female.
I think I am just going to have to play it by ear. Swap my skirt for different social situations. Best friend's flat, appreciate skirt length, my flat- not so much. (I need one of those draw string skirts, that when you pull the ribbon the skirt hitches up and then you can pull it down again.)
Moral of the story- don't bend down so much...
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